My current diet

[Mr. PC]

So this is the third day for me being %100 other than pasteurized OJ, and I haven't been drinking much of that even. Mostly I've been eating oranges, avocados, apples, bananas, blueberries, peaches, EVOO, EV coconut oil, and 8 eggyolks a night. Oh and lots of white sugar, probly more than half my energy intake, which I know isn't good, but I figure it's better than eating a munch food. Usually I'll have 2 teaspoons of sugar per fruit I eat.

I keep thinking about getting a big juicer, but I'm afraid of how much of the fruit will get wasted. I hate wasting and really can't afford to. Also, I've been peeling all of my fruits, which I wasn't usually doing before.

I feel much much better, even compared to how I was eating a few days ago. I can think clearly and I don't have bags under my eyes, and they're only a little bit dry if I don't use eye drops. I've also been doing a kindof petty workout routine of like, 5 -10 pushups (on my knuckles), a bunch of sit ups and leg raises. Basically I just try to feel like I'm using all my muscles until I'm too tired.

[Oscar]

Good to hear

[Mr. PC]

So now my 6th day with only pasteurized OJ as my only bad food (although last night I had a couple shots of vodka; I find being around my friends very stressful. If only vodka could be included in the diet;)

Anyway I've been feeling great, except that I was out until 5:00 last night recording our album, so I'm kindof tired.

Also looking for a job since the music camp has finished. I'm really only good at (and care about) 2 things, music and kids, so I'm really apprehensive about getting a general labor job, I feel like that stuff is such a waste of time, even if I need money. I'm teaching private music lessons right now, but I don't get enough hours from that. I also have 2 band projects, the one I just mentioned and another one where I do cover tunes with a singer, but the singer is really irresponsible and seems to have a crazy life so that we're never able to rehearse. Neither one seem like they're going to go anywhere right now, so I'm considering other options. I found this school http://www.summerhillschool.co.uk/ on the internet, which looks totally ideal to me; it's exactly how I feel about education and I'd love to teach there, but getting a European work visa is apparently near impossible. I've been thinking about teaching ESL in eastern Europe, although apparently there's no money in that, which wouldn't be a problem except I have $16000 of debt from my schooling to pay off. I should just try to get some solo piano gigs, but those are generally too technically demanding and my hands are not in great shape, even though they've dramatically improved with this diet, realistically I don't think they're good enough to play solo gigs, and I always try to do things I really can't do, and it blows up in my face. I'm also already missing some of the kids from the music camp, I know it's kindof pathetic. I guess that all adds up to me not wanting to eat again, so I'm really gonna have to push myself because I know not eating leads to eating junk.

[Oscar]

I'm sure a solution will present itself. In the meantime, do keep eating.

[RRM]

Yeah, dont try to force a solution.
Just know what you want and focus on that.
Prepare yourself for actually doing that what you want.
Then try to recognize any relevant opportunity that will present itselve, and grab it.

[Mr. PC]

Thanks guys.
So I've noticed since cutting out munch foods, the bags under my eyes are nearly gone, and my eyes are not nearly as dry as they usually are. My lips haven't been as dry recently either. I guess this could be a result of me lowering my protein as well, since I lowered my protein intake around the same time I cut the munch foods out. It is kindof easier in a way to be 100% strict than to allow only a little bit of munch foods. My only concern is that I'm eating a significant amount of white sugar. For example I had 8 teaspoons of sugar with my 6 eggyolks plus OJ tonight. I want the energy to last me until I go to bed, and I don't want to eat too soon before brushing my teeth, so my solution is to load the yolks with sugar and drink it not-too-quickly. If i drink that in 10 minutes, am I getting way to much sugar at once? what about 15 or 20 minutes?
BTW, would anyone be willing to read my resume?

P.S. Do you think it's possible that the reason I need so much sugar/am so thin, is because my brain uses more than average sugar? I can be sitting at home doing nothing all day, and I still need tons of sugar, and I can't put on ANY weight, no matter what I do.

[RRM]

My only concern is that I'm eating a significant amount of white sugar. For example I had 8 teaspoons of sugar with my 6 eggyolks plus OJ tonight. I want the energy to last me until I go to bed, and I don't want to eat too soon before brushing my teeth, so my solution is to load the yolks with sugar and drink it not-too-quickly. If i drink that in 10 minutes, am I getting way to much sugar at once?

It doesnt have to be too much, as 8 teapoons is not that much.
You will feel it when it is too much.
Just listen to your body's response.

would anyone be willing to read my resume?

Sure. For what purpose?

P.S. Do you think it's possible that the reason I need so much sugar/am so thin, is because my brain uses more than average sugar?

I dont think your brain uses more sugar than average.
And if so, the differences will be minimal.

I can be sitting at home doing nothing all day, and I still need tons of sugar

Sure, as your basic metabolism never stops.

and I can't put on ANY weight, no matter what I do.

Sure you can, by consuming more energy than you need, and by continuously doing so.
Its just that this is hard on this diet.

[Mr. PC]

Hmm, well I was never able to put weight on with the SAD diet either. I'm looking for more work, locally or abroad. I just wanted someone to read my resume who I'd never met IRL, to get an unbiased opinion; I'll PM it to you RRM. Thanks

Oh ya, today I was at my friend's house, and he was making this really good ethnic thing with meat and peppers and spices, and it was SUPER hard to resist. I didn't eat it and told myself if I didn't eat any of his food, I'd let myself have some rice later, which would be much less harmful. Now that I'm home, I feel like I could get through the day without the rice, but I'm wondering if lying to myself (not giving myself something I'd promised myself), will make me not believe myself next time the situation comes up. I've had that happen before with other non food related things, where I'll promise myself something in return for doing something else, but than not give myself it later, and than next time I don't believe in my own promise and won't do what I'm trying to make myself do.

So do you think I should eat the rice? Or should I tough it out, this is my 8th day without munch-food. Probly no one will get back in time so I'm gonna have to decide for myself tonight, but just curious what people think about that.

[Oscar]

I'd say tough it out. It does get easier the longer you're off the munch foods.

[Mr. PC]

Last night I had a dream that there was this Wai meeting in this building owned by Wai and RRM, and there were rooms for people to sleep in (it was a week long event or something, in some southern European country), and we were going to have dinner, and roast pork was for dinner!!

And I was like, "isn't this extremely un-wai?" and Wai (the woman) came out, and she looked like a much larger version of Whoopi Goldberg, and she said something like "don't worry honey, this ain't so bad" and RRM came out and said something like "well, pork is actually the worst kind of meat you could possibly eat." RRM was thin and pale in my dream. I was saying something like "I've been on the strict diet for 10 days now, I can't just eat this".

Weird, eh?

Anyway, I ate rice on Sept 10th, I smoked pot and ate a few spoons of vegy rice my drummer made last Monday, and I ate half a fried potato and 3 spoons of Green beans with butter today.

This is like my munch food confession. I notice that since cutting back like this on munch foods I feel waaaaay better. And each time I give in, it's like, I have barely any cravings, but something makes me cave, and after having a munch food it's *much* harder the next day. Like right now I'm dying for another fried potato; I'm also totally stressed about crap going on in my life so it makes it a little harder to resist.

[Oscar]

Nice dream!

Yes, like you notice, it's far easier to keep resisting than to give in and then resist again.

[Mr. PC]

Oh ya, I forgot to mention I had an espresso yesterday morning, which may have been what made me give in to munch foods. The reason I had the espresso was I had a job interview, and the boss offered me one to be social; I guess it was a kind of business decision. I am in a lot of social situations where it's awkward to turn things down; I wish I had the willpower to just take what I needed to on those occasions, but than not need a munchfood later. I feel like if it's true that willpower is a muscle that gets stronger as it's used, my willpower should be a lot stronger than it is now. I feel like I exert a significant amount of willpower every day, why wouldn't my willpower be strong enough to make resisting everything easy by now? Maybe this theory I read about willpower is incorrect.

[RRM]

... I guess it was a kind of business decision....why wouldn't my willpower be strong enough to make resisting everything easy by now?

By making the 'business decision', you also chose to make it harder for yourself to resist munch foods later.
So, its not that your willpower is not strong enough, but that you make it hard for yourself.
It was a choice that may serve you well, but it also came with 'side effects'.
Not a lack of willpower, but a sound choice.
You cant expect all things to be easy for you in any condition.
'Having much willpower' is at least as much about avoiding temptations.

[Mr. PC]

So last night I wasn't able to fall asleep until 7:00am. My mouth eyes and skin felt extremely dry as well, and today my back is totally covered in acne.

The only thing I could think of is this cold medicine I took for my sinuses. Do you think that could have caused it? Otherwise I've been wai minus store bought OJ.

[RRM]

The only thing I could think of is this cold medicine I took for my sinuses.

What is in it exactly?
(its on the label of the bottle)