So I work at this school in Thailand for like one more week and the teachers are going crazy saying goodbye to me and stuff. Food is a MASSIVE part of culture here, every festival and social event is centred around food. Delicious food...that you can convince yourself is healthy...steamed fish with lemon and chili, fried vegetables, noodle and chili salad, papaya and peanut fried fish, tom yam gung, chicken with cashew nuts...AAAARGH! I love everything on the table at these events and what's more the teachers love to "feed the foreign teacher' they get really upset if I don't eat and if I refuse to try something they look like they are about to cry. Not a day has gone by this past month of starting Wai where they haven't brought fried bananas or rice desserts or a big pot of green curry into the office, its torture i promise you! and they make a special point of getting me to try it.
Last night was my leaving do and I caved in to the pressure (and the food addiction no doubt) and ate some fried veg, rice, spicy rice noodle salad and coconut milk mushrooms. I resisted all the meat by telling them I had gone vegetarian (they can just about understand that because monks are usually vegetarian) but I feel so crappy today...as yet no massive breakout but my skin was so greasy this morning and already i feel clogged up and i don't think I'll be going to the bathroom forever. I did try and minimise the damage by taking a little bottle of oil and sipping a little in the bathroom every hour or so, but still...
Anyway, there isn't really a lot of point to this. But I'm pissed off with myself and with circumstances! People make such a big deal about other's eating habits. A couple of my western friends are trying to lose weight and won't listen to me about Wai because "your body won't get enough protein, too many carbs blah blah blah." While the Thai people are genuinely worried I'm not eating enough, I KNOW that with my western friends, a lot of the time they don't like to see me ordering a tomato salad not because they are worried about my health but PURELY because they just ordered a cheeseburger and it makes them feel like they are less disciplined about their diets. So then they have a go at me like "is that all you're having? It's not enough, I think you don't need to lose weight, you look fine." which really doesn't help when you are NOT HAPPY with the way you look or feel!
Also, I'll tell you what else doesn't help: having friends that are gorgeous and skinny with skin like silk and gorge themselves on booze and bread and meat and burgers every chance they get. That my friends is the moment ordering a salad starts to seem kinda pointless since clearly it is the work of God that other people are just more frickin attractive!
I have a feeling that during my next three weeks of backpacking, i'm going to fall off the wagon, and I think I just made it easier for myself to be susceptible to those cravings, by breaking the diet and putting myself back to square one. Grrrr!
Anyway.....
I guess the point should be: I actually love ordering a tomato salad, and without Wai, I'd still be ordering a cheesburger, so that's more important than breaking the diet once. Yes. Done. Really, I'm over it!
On another note, the emoticon is 25 years old this week
i'm only a year younger but i feel old!
